Published on | by redblob4
Flake Update: Drink your Greens
My girlfriend has just gone to Mauritius for a week, so I’ve decided to get a little naughty. Forget seedy strip clubs and 4:00 am poker sessions with booze and cigars, though – I’m really throwing caution to the wind this time. I’m juicing for dinner.
As a cheapskate, I didn’t want to invest in a new juicer, so I dragged my dusty Kenwood 700w hand blender out of the cupboard to see what it’s capable of — and it’s impressive. Considering I’m just chainsawing everything into pulp like a maniac playing a real life, vegetable version of Fruit Ninja, the results have been quite drinkable!
The reason why I’m chopping through bagfuls of leafy vegetables for just a few cups of greenish liquid in return, is psoriasis. This stuff is liquid elixir when it comes to cutting down bodily inflammation, and I’ve been meaning to try it ever since seeing “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”, a documentary about a man who juice fasts on nothing but a bit of curly kale for 60 days and ends up curing his skin condition. Plus, juicing is the only way to consume so many greens in one go.
Time to get messy
To prepare for my week of hand blender debauchery, I bought four massive bunches of water spinach (managing to crack the vendor down to USD $4.5!), plus other fruit and vegetables. The focus really is on the dark green, leafy vegetables though (spinach, watercress, lettuce, kale), because they’re packed with inflammation-fighting omega 3 fatty acids and other skin-friendly nutrients. My current recipe is: a LOT of greens (at least equivalent to two heads of lettuce), a knob of ginger, a large lime, two apples and a banana.
The process is so simple that even a child could follow it. Not that you’d entrust a child to use a machine built around twirling blades of vegetable destruction. First, chop everything quite roughly (I keep stems because the more green the better), throw everything in a round container, add water and attack it with your hand blender. My advice would be to use a container that is long, cylindrical and quite narrow, such as a large water bottle with the top sliced off, because then you can blend everything into a finer pulp to get better juice. Afterwards, use a strainer to squeeze out the fine, swamp-green liquid and chill it before consuming.
Is a week long enough?
Honestly, I don’t know. If I get through it and see some my psoriasis patches flattening out or becoming pinker, I might jump straight into a hardcore juice fast. I’ve done a ten day water fast before (by day 7 I was in a particularly interesting, hallucinatory mental state when everything seemed delicious, even plastic fruit in Ikea), so I think a juice fast would be a piece of cake.
Plus, there are plenty of flakers out there that claim to have gone into total remission by juice fasting. Take Vale, the greatest juicing evangelist in the world today, also known as “The Juice Master”, who claims to have cured his psoriasis by the fine art of pulverizing vegetables into juice. In fact, he offers a “Clear Skin Programme” on his site, although it’s a nothing a bit of research won’t dig up. I’m aiming to post photographs of my hands and elbows to keep track of how I’m doing, so watch out!