Humour

Published on | by redblob

3

Woman Cures Psoriasis By Cutting Ties To Past Life

Nothing working for your psoriasis? That’s because the root of the problem lies in a past life, not this life! That’s the gist of an article that recently appeared in the Daily Mail, one of the UK’s trashiest papers.

A nice hit of crack should get me into the mood, Jane thought to herself.

The article, about “past-life regression therapy,” has an interesting, if bonkers, bit about a 65-year-old granny who goes by the name of Jane Russell. Having suffered from psoriasis on her hands and feet for two years, she claims that cutting ties to her past life rid her of the flaky condition.

Creams weren’t working for her, so Jane got an old friend to do a bit of hypnotism. Within a few minutes, Jane found herself in an old apartment she had stayed in while in Scotland. As she stood there, she noticed a mirror, and inside it was a man, “around 36”, wearing clothes from the Victorian era. I think the LSD her friend had slipped her for a laugh was kicking in at this point.

And then “Whoooooooosh!” The next thing she knew is that SHE had been transformed into the MAN. Freud would have had a field day with this, but let’s not digress. After enjoying her newfound manhood for a bit, she was instructed by her friend to imagine strings between the man and her current self. Next, she snipped them and cut all ties to the mysterious man.

Jane celebrated the end of psoriasis the only way she knew how.

That’s it. The session lasted for roughly 2 hours, after which Jane came round to consciousness, a bit dazed and upset. She didn’t expect that it would have any effect on her P, but it did, and what an affect: a total cure in “two or three” weeks.

Is Jane insane? I honestly don’t know. Strange things happen all the time. Maybe she really was a bowler-hat wearing dude from the 1900’s that happened to give her psoriasis when she was reincarnated as a woman a century later.

Interestingly, according to some websites, I was a gravedigger in Siberia in my previous life. What was I burying?! FLAKES! Coffin loads of flakes. And all I need to is go back into my past, and find that man… and bury him. Once and for all. Thanks Jane.

In the meantime though, I’ll probably stick to my psoriasis-friendly soaps to give my skin relief.

Tags: past-life, psoriasis

About the Author

redblob I'm just an average 28 year old living with psoriasis. Over the last decade, I've tried everything, from real snake poison to rubbing banana peels over my body. I've finally found an approach that's working for me, and I'm sharing it with all the flakers out there. But Psoriasis Blob is not about one man, it's a growing community of great, red people.